Saturday, August 9, 2014

Field Station Nature Walk- Future by Clyde K.

Hello, welcome to the UMASS Field Station. Here we have 943,023,471 square ricinths (5.453 square miles, 46.874 square werts, 671,209,675,391,039,472,340 cube inchletmini10s) of conserved land. To the right we have Red Cedar, used to make tea, gin and bandcop. Also, growing on it is eraperash ivy, evolving from the rare and elusive poison ivy. Eraperash ivy senses heat, and if a living thing touches it, it’ll wrap around the living thing and give it an excruciatingly itchy rash that can be fatal if itched too much. Also, it never intends to let go. It had a cousin called Virginia Creeper, but that went extinct. Up here, we have a troublesome plant called Fox Grapes because the first person who looked at it thought its leaves looked like a fox head. It is troublesome because it would’ve outgrown everything here if we hadn’t fenced it off. I will resume your private tour later, in which you will learn about the Wild Leonard, a hostile humanoid creature.     

 Alright, step right up if you want to continue your tour
so I can finally tell you about the rare Wild Leonard. The Wild Leonard is an extraordinary creature that can be seen running around, drooling and hissing uncontrollably around the property, capturing Wild Junior Rangers. It does this by whacking the Wild Junior Ranger upside the head and then bringing it back to its cave, where the Wild Leonard robs the Wild Junior of its Reese’s Creme Pie and Italian Ice.

Then, the Wild Leonard goes off to look for more Wild Junior Rangers after devouring the pie. We think that the Wild Leonard used to be a guy called Lenny. Apparently, Lenny used to be in charge of the Wild Junior Rangers. Supposedly, the Wild Junior Rangers stole his Reese’s Creme Pie and he was so annoyed, he went crazy and turned into the Wild Leonard.

Also, around here you will find the carnivorous Goatium (its favorite food is goats) evolving from Codium. It can grow up to 34 tets or 4 feet long. Also, we have Cobragrass (it looks like a Cobra) which evolves from Eelgrass. It’s so big, it can eat a Bluefish whole!

We will finish your tour here after lunch. 


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